Thursday, August 18, 2011

Sex Life of Plants by Bill Chambers

Dear Stupid Ass Questions:  If pollen is part of a plants reproductive sex life, Then does that mean that when we suffer from hay fever, We sneeze out plant spunk. XD

BILL: Unfortunately, the “spunk,” as you so eloquently describe it, is Plant Syphilis, or “PS” as it’s commonly referred to in the botany community. PS is spread mainly through physical contact, often as the result of promiscuous, unprotected sexual activity with plant life. Luckily, if detected early, PS is treatable, most often with a serious of extremely painful hypodermic injections into the abdomen area. There’s also an experimental treatment using over-the-counter antihistamines, but I would recommend visiting the Emergency Room of your local hospital at the first sign of any symptoms. I would also recommend finding a way to curb your bizarre sexual perversions... maybe try a support group or something.

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