Monday, August 15, 2011

In-laws by Jacqueline Oltmans Fisher

Dear Stupid Ass Questions:  I will cut to the chase. I hate my in-laws because they are so weird. I am going to have a baby any day now and I don’t want them over to visit once the baby is born. But, I do want the gifts and money they will bring. Should I accept their gifts then call and say we are moving?

Jacqueline: In-laws can be a touchy subject.  Either you like them or you hate them.  If you do not want your in-laws to come visit you and your new baby, any of these excuses will due: I got the shits, my shrink upped my meds, my ass hurts, I got a bad rash, I have bad gass, I got the swine flu, I am having my period, I am getting my Vajaja waxed, pierced, and bedaziled, my parole officer is coming by, green stuff is oozing out of my nose and ears, I am having an AA meeting at my house, My sponsor is coming to visit. These excuses will let your in-laws know you got a few screws loose, and is a great way to ensure that they will not want to come by and visit. Regarding the gifts and money, you do want from your in-laws, and do not want the strings attached.  I suggest saying anyone of the excuses I gave you, and just grab the goods and money slam the door in their face.

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