Tuesday, May 29, 2012

SLACKER by Marv Ellis

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I haven't gotten a thing done at work all day and its already 12:30. Should I try to get stuff done or just chalk it up as a loss and go home?

Click on picture to enlarge
MARV: Not getting anything done at work by 12:30 pm is an accomplishment! Either course of action you suggested would be a severe breach of etiquette! You are going for the gold my friend! You are going to stick it out, on the clock, till 5 pm when that whistle blows, collecting a paycheck while getting ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DONE! I believe in you,  I am rooting for you, I'm living vicariously through you, as I work a job that requires daily production to collect a paycheck for some reason :( . So go forth unto the rest of your day, busily shuffling papers with no writing on them, staring thoughtfully into space as you tap your pencil on your desk, putting calls on hold that you could easily take, sending e-mails about TPS report changes then sending e-mails reversing those changes-- and know that I, Marv Ellis-- wait with breathless anticipation of the success of your endeavor to complete your day of non-productiveness in pursuit of an unearned income! Namaste my friend, namaste--

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds more like a management position...Let me explain it with a story.

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,
“I wonder! Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered:
“Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.