Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: Hello there! A very close friend who has hit on hard times, and now at age 52 has to apply for food stamps and welfare, has been procrastinating now for a week, and has not bathed or shaved due to his shame. Question: Do I tell them: Pick yourself up, wash, and shave. OR Do I tell them to "work the disheveled look?"
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Alexandra: You say this is your very close friend?? Sorry about all the double question marks, but "work the disheveled look?" Work the disheveled look has never worked for anybody. Are you sure you don't want to keep your friend in this financially needy state? I think you like him in these hard times. Maybe he's more available to you now. Maybe he's more humble. Somehow you are getting some kind of needs met by his current state if you're even thinking of suggesting he keep the Nick Nolte mug shot look. With advice like this, who needs enemies. Tell him to not listen to you. Obviously, his best interest is not on your agenda. You want him to keep looking like District 12 for your own sick need of company. Let him shower up and power suit up and find his life again. As for you, get busy volunteering at a homeless shelter. Plenty of potential friends there for you that are just "your type."