Friday, May 18, 2012

PIZZA.... by Ben Sang

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I received an email from Papa John’s Pizza stating that they would deliver pizza to my door. I called up and ordered a large pizza with soda and wings. When I gave them my address they said they don’t deliver in my area. Could I sue them for false advertisement? I’ll settle outta court if they give me pizza for life. Hey should I call them back and tell them that?

Ben: I am actually writing the answer to your question, as I wait for my free Papa John’s Rewards Pizza and Cinnapie. Yes, I am a frequent customer and have no regard for my health.  That being said, I understand your disappointment in not being able to get your Papa John’s fix.  However, I doubt you have a case.  What kind of damages are you going to claim?  The extra minute it took you to call Domino’s?  Also, I don’t recommend calling them back to complain…unless you want some extra ‘creamy dipping’ sauce for your extra ‘crusty’ crust.  If you really want a Papa John’s pizza, get your big lazy arse in your car to get some or move out of your po-dunk neighborhood.  Anyways, my pizza just got here!  Mmmmm…free pizza and dessert…

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