Wednesday, November 20, 2013
DOGGIE EATING DISORDER by Joseph Conklin
Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Joseph, Do you think it's possible to give a dog an eating disorder?
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
Dear Stupid Ass Questioner,
Now, what could you possibly want to give a dog an eating disorder for? No, seriously it totally matters what the occasion is - is it the dogs birthday, is it for Christmas or what? Because if it's for it's birthday and you want to get the dog a cake but you don't want the dog to get fat from said cake then you're gonna have to go for doggie bulimia, which whether you like it or not is going to require you to stick a couple of fingers down that dogs throat (they don't have fingers of their own, mind you) and logically, depending on the breed of dog this could prove to be very hazardous for your hand. If its the dogs birthday, I would just go with heavy verbal guilt about the dogs weight until it doesn't even look at that cake. Best bet.
Now if it's for a holiday such as Christmas well the best way to give it an eating disorder is let it eat like a pig, then only give it coal as a gift so it gets the point that nobody loves a four legged fatty. This is the same result you'd be aiming for with the verbal birthday cake abuse - anorexia, which is a totally legitimate eating disorder...for dogs.
It's all about the context of your goals because anything is possible if you try hard enough.