Wednesday, June 20, 2012

GAMBLERS ANNONYMOUS by Thomas J. Bellezza


Dear Stupid Ass Questions: Is it wrong for me to dress up like a priest and go home to home asking for donations for my church when I really use the money for gambling? And, it will make people feel good about themselves
thinking they are doing a good deed. Kind of a win win if you know what I mean. 

Size does matter so click to enlarge

THOMAS: Is it wrong to dress up like a priest and go home to home asking for donations... No, it is not wrong. The wrong would come under you taking money, keeping the money for a short amount of time, then spending the money away on gambling. Though, I would think a win win situation would be more of you dressing like a priest going church to church and letting people know they have been bamboozled. Of course the best part is you get to use the word bamboozled, and really, how often do you get to use a word like bamboozled in a coherent sentence, nah, plausible situation? If it's any consultation, I like morons. Not only do they help cheer me up when I read about them, but I would lose a lot of comedic expression, so don't stop what you are doing.

3 comments:

Aner Candelario said...

It is wrong only when you take and don't give anything in return. Perhaps you can unburden something of their guilt and suffering. You can offer healing prayers. You can forgive their sins, and bestow blessings, in exchange for a small donation to the church's "recreational fund". Who knows? You might actually have a calling. You might even discover that coming to the aid of those in need is more rewarding, than all the jackpots in the world. xo

Aner Candelario said...

Correction: "You could unburden someone of their guilt and suffering".

Aner Candelario said...

Oh and if by chance you have long hair and a beard, you could dress up in a robe and say you are Jesus Christ, and offer them a slot in your posse, if they take a vow of poverty. Any one dumb enough to fall for this would loose everything eventually, so you could not only give purpose to their lives, but alleviate them of burdensome possessions and a materialistic life. You would have to take them gambling with you though, where they might realize you ain't no Jesus. So always wear your best running shoes.