Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I'm having trouble with buying things online. Whenever I go to purchase an item it says, "Press Any Button To Continue". I can’t find the ANY BUTTON on my keyboard. Do you know which one it is?
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Lucy: Dear Lost in Cyberspace, I am so happy that you’ve come forward to ask this question because now I have finally met someone who knows less about computers and the interwebs than I do. (Or my mom, for that matter.)  My advice would be to give your PC a much needed nap and just head on over to Walmart. It sounds like you’d fit right in with the other folks over there, and that store has pretty much everything you could ever need. (Be sure to dress appropriately in your best fluorescent mesh top in case someone snaps your photo for the People of Walmart website.) Once there, I suggest purchasing a poster of Edward Cullen, some KY, and The Best of Kenny G. for a nice little afternoon at home without your computer.  Once you’ve realized the exhilarating potential of an hour at Walmart, I suspect you’ll be donating your computer and all of its buttons to Freecycle. You’re welcome. 

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