Friday, June 15, 2012
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I just read in an email that says I can earn my doctorate degree on line. I've always wanted to be a doctor. Do I need a computer to get my degree or will my phone line work just as good?
Lucy: Dear Grammar Fail, Before you set your sights on a doctorate, you need to return to grade school and master the English language. No, your phone line will not work “just as good,” but it may work “just as well” if it’s CONNECTED TO YOUR COMPUTER. Once you pass fourth grade, have your classmates hook you up with some Internet access. Don’t even worry about actually getting your degree, though. Just use your new Internet connection to open up a Facebook account under the name “Dr. [So-and-So]” and pretty soon it will catch on. It totally worked for Dr. Dre. He seems to be making out pretty well for himself, and I’m fairly certain he doesn’t have a degree in, well, anything.