Tuesday, January 31, 2012
WHEEEEEEEEEE! by Diane Kelly
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: My grandmother falls a lot and because of such falls has broken just about every bone in her body. Anyway, to get to her car she goes out her back door even though there is a safer way to get to the garage. In the winter the back door way is covered with ice and snow drifts 5 feet high (she’s pretty good at climbing). We are starting to worry that one day we will find a human granny pop. Should we nail the back door shut or just leave a shovel out there and let her dig herself out?
Diane: Neither. Everyone will be happy if you take this simple suggestion. Get some of those big plastic tubes that they use for the children’s play areas and build Granny a colorful plastic all-weather route from her back door to the garage. Since she’s broken so many bones, I assume she’s shrunken and stoop shouldered and will have no trouble walking through the tubes. If gerbils and hamsters can get the hang of it, so can she. Snow and ice will be no problem, and you won’t have to worry about the granny pop! Maybe even add a slide to make things more fun!