Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: So, one of my Stupid Ask Questions is, it being the Jewish New Year, we have to fast (yes, I'm a Jew in showbiz, how odd). Anyway, one of the rules on Yom Kippur is no bathing, no oils, no deodorant, no washing. So, my questions is, who would WANT to have sex?
Forrest: Men! In general we want that. Little rule of thumb I picked up. I was in a truck stop restroom in Santa Fe a little too close to midnight when I learned that lesson. I guess it would be more accurate to say I was taught. Never mind that.
Plus, homeless people. Homeless people have sex all the time with way worse conditions. No bathing? No oils? Mo problem. That’s their everyday. Ask the same question again and end it with “in broad daylight in a park on a pile of empty Cheetos bags” and you might start to gain an understanding of their life spiral. You see nightmare and they see a romance novel with the side benefit of marking one’s territory. So I don’t know who this Yom Kippur fella is, but men and homeless people don’t get it. The only thing that limits the sex of these two groups is opportunity and, in the case of the homeless, a good sandwich. Actually, the sandwich thing applies to both groups. Forrest Haigh signing off.