Thursday, November 3, 2011


Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I am on a diet but I can't stop eating when I watch tv.  Would it be better if  I watch a workout show while I eat?  
Nick: First off, how can these work-out people be so happy?  Working out is boring and tedious and looks ridiculous to objective parties.  I can't walk past a gym without pointing and laughing and eating donuts at these miserable people.  Working out is awful and I don't believe these hosts on workout shows are happy.  Not for a second. Second, yes, eat while you watch workout shows.  I can't get through a Bioflex infomercial without a bucket of chicken or a couple bratwursts and a poptart (with frosting). Third, stop working out.  People who work out are secretly miserable and just want to get you into their unhappy tribe on constant one-upmanship.  In fact, the only happy people on television are the Food Network cooks/hosts. They are delightful.  You will not find a single depressed host on the Food Network. So if you're going to work-out, do it watching the Food Network.  At least you won't detest who you're watching.   

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