Thursday, November 3, 2011
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I am on a diet but I can't stop eating when I watch tv. Would it be better if I watch a workout show while I eat?
Nick: First off, how can these work-out people be so happy? Working out is boring and tedious and looks ridiculous to objective parties. I can't walk past a gym without pointing and laughing and eating donuts at these miserable people. Working out is awful and I don't believe these hosts on workout shows are happy. Not for a second. Second, yes, eat while you watch workout shows. I can't get through a Bioflex infomercial without a bucket of chicken or a couple bratwursts and a poptart (with frosting). Third, stop working out. People who work out are secretly miserable and just want to get you into their unhappy tribe on constant one-upmanship. In fact, the only happy people on television are the Food Network cooks/hosts. They are delightful. You will not find a single depressed host on the Food Network. So if you're going to work-out, do it watching the Food Network. At least you won't detest who you're watching.