Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Dear Stupid Ass Questions: Is it true that a new study just determined that married people are more likely to get divorced than single people ?
NICK: I have no doubt that this is true and I have no doubt that people in elevators everywhere are reading that embarrassing factoid on a computer screen and making jokes about where our tax dollars go.  I'm not above this "Average Joe" stance.  If this statement is true, it is beyond pathetic.  Americans are no longer ashamed of anything.  And now even our research has suffered.  Where is the shame that scientists used to face when he/she walked into a patent's office with a block of wood with a piece of felt on it?  "It's a time-table."  "No it's crap!" they would say (in Irish accent).   Is this really where "progress" has led us to?  Now that middle class folks can go to the moon over a three-day weekend and a three year old can divorce his parents and marry his dog?!  Is there nothing else to explore, explain, exploit, discover or discredit?  Just idiot "research" my bagel-making friend Antoine "The Bone" Timms could have told me after he got married twice during spring break?!  And all that took was a study abroad program, a karaoke night and three silver bullets (his favorite). 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Is there nothing else to explore, explain, exploit, discover or discredit?" - brilliant!