Thursday, November 24, 2011
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I over heard my boss talking to his wife about having eggplant for dinner. I really love eggplant. Could I just show up at this house around dinnertime and act like I was invited. He doesn’t have such a great memory & I’ll bring a package of cool-aid to make it look like it was my contribution.
LOGAN LEE: Well, eggplants usually cost less than $5 so if you have a job and transportation you shouldn’t need to scam your way into a meal. Also, there are several ways to ruin eggplant so there’s no guarantee it will taste good.
If you do decide to trick your senile boss into feeding you, it would be appropriate to bring something more substantial than a package of Kool-Aid. You should at least have the courtesy of preparing the Aid before you arrive (water is free)!
In addition to being an awkward houseguest, you could face home invasion charges for using a false premise to enter their home. So if you’re looking at $5 for your own eggplant or 10 years with Butch turning you inside out, it really just depends on how lonely you are!