Monday, October 3, 2011

"LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK, by Stacey Prussman

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I have a like page on Facebook as well as my regular Facebook page. My mother said that I need to hit the LIKE button on it. I think it’s stupid to like myself on Facebook. Won’t people think that I’m being vain? My mother said that if you don’t like yourself no one else will. Would it be a good idea to start another Facebook page under a FAKE name, then friend the REAL me. The REAL me would except my FAKE friendship and then the FAKE me could like the REAL me page. I could actually create many FAKE me pages and all the FAKE me could like the REAL me page. That way none of my friends would know that the FAKE me is liking the REAL me and they would think that the REAL me was popular.
STACEY: I wanted to first congratulate you on creating a LIKE page, just by doing that you are saying you LIKE yourself and least subconsciously.  I agree with mom, mom always knows best!  Of course you should hit the LIKE button. If you were so worried about being vain you shouldn’t of created the LIKE page in the first place silly. You think Kim Kardashian or even the ugly sister would be afraid to hit the LIKE button on their LIKE page? I don’t think so !  And there is no ugly Kardashian sister I was just testing you. That being said, I think you should definitely create FAKE friends to LIKE you.  As I always say to if your FAKE friends don’t LIKE you than who will. Now those FAKE friends should not just be regular folk, they should interesting, crazy and exciting people  like criminals on death row, celebrities from celebrity Rehab, dead presidents, Bjork.  You should also consider using Photoshop and superimpose your picture next to them in fun places and post it on your wall. You should create a whole society of FAKE profiles and interact with all of them everyday all day.  I don’t care if you have quit your job, quit school, or quit your out patient program. You main objective is to just create profiles “LIKE” your life depended on it.  Remember your main goal is to be the most popular.  The possibilities are endless. Your FAKE friends will talk to each other about how amazing you are, you can argue with them; have them argue with each other. You could block them and than unblock them just for fun    Heck you should even make LIKE pages for them too and make up even more FAKE friends for your FAKE friends but remember make sure  you have most  FAKE friends of all.  Maybe you could even have a FAKE frienemy   and Fake “ stalker”. Stalkers are always fun!  Your “real” friends if you still have any left would think you are the coolest most amazing person in the world and maybe you will the find love or at least the “LIKE” you where looking for.  After all isn’t that what this is all about.  One more thing make sure to rent the movie “Cat Fish”. 

No comments: