Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Dear Stupid Ass Question: Why does Walmart have like 20 checkouts but only 2 lanes that are open? Isn't this false advertisement? Doesn't it give the shopper a false sense of get out fast security? Should I call my congressman and report them?
BARB: Yes, by all means call your congressman and bitch a blue streak. Your guy in D.C. told me just yesterday that he doesn’t chew the fat enough with scintillating constituents like you. BTW, if he sounds like he’s distracted while you’re bending his ear, he’s probably just multitasking – you know - taking screenshots of his itsy bitsy teenie weenie private parts so he can sext them to horny Cub Scouts and slutty interns on his Twitter list.
BTW NEWS FLASH: WalMart is not exactly known as the Nascar of tacky discount stores. You want customer service? Try Saks Fifth Avenue.

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