Wednesday, October 12, 2011

TURNIP TRUCKS, My home away from home by Dan Burt

Dear Stupid Ass Question: I was asked recently to do temporary work. When I inquired as to what they would be paying they looked at me like I just fell off a turnip truck and said you start Monday. What’s a turnip truck?

DAN: One thing you must remember about jobs: though some jobs may not pay in folding money, all jobs pay in experience. Today, I still use the experience I gained from my days as a grout taster (mainly, don’t taste everything you’re asked to).
You didn’t mention what kind of work you will be performing, but if you’re being hired to fall off a turnip truck, you may have “fallen” into the perfect career. I mean, you could be hired to fall off of worse things, like a huge ball of used dental floss or a pile of dead penguins.
Turnip trucks are modern day mechanical wonders:
Rumor has it that the first turnip truck was reverse engineered from alien technology at Area 51.
Not only have I driven a precision built turnip truck, I lived in one for several years after my common law wife kicked me out of the townhouse when her cat died from eating a batch of my homemade edible glue I left on the vanity in the guest bathroom.
Good luck! Maybe the temporary position will become permanent.

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