Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Toddlers & Tiaras by Gisele Noel

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: My paycheck isn’t going very far lately with the rise in prices and all. Do you think I could rob a liquor store? Like, isn’t alcohol the devils work anyway? It would be my contribution to mankind.

Dear Mrs. Duggar, Inflation will never be as high as the headcount that’s been in your uterus.  So even if you stole all the liquor in the world, you could never drown out the pain that Kate has to audition for Sister Wives just to compete with you in sheer volume of kids.  There’s only 1 way to make enough money & stretch your resources while doing the devil’s work and that’s to audition for Toddlers & Tiaras. God speed.

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