Monday, June 17, 2013
WEDDING BELL BLUES by Sean Cirone
Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Sean, My soon to be mother-in-law is super fat. Should I tell her so that she has time to lose all that extra poundage before my wedding? I want my wedding photos to come out nice.
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
SEAN: Do not fret over such menial issues such as your mother-in-law’s weight gain. Do however fret over the fact that within a year of marriage most couples (that includes you o-shallow-one) experience a significant increase in weight gain, your metabolism as you near your late twenties will slow down not unlike a out of shape biker approaching a steep incline and your significant other will most likely soon take after her mother due to genetics come to physically resemble what you loathe. Good luck on your future superficial endeavors in being a world-class control freak.