Friday, June 28, 2013

PASSION FRUIT by Joseph Conklin

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I've heard tell that "passion" fruit is good for your,,, well it's kind of embarrassing, but it's supposed to improve your sex life. I heard the same thing about oysters too. I could never keep them tied on long enough to see a difference. Does "passion" fruit come with little strings and perhaps instructions for proper use?

Dear Stupid Ass Questioner, No, Passion Fruit does not come with strings or instructions for proper use and…and I’m going to say this the nicest way I possibly can – please do not mate. The human race is in enough trouble as it is genetically speaking and it certainly does not need a whole generation of offspring who need instructions on the proper use of fruit (it’s been hard enough to get the current one just to pull up its pants, we really don’t need to go down the same path with fruits). Everyone of legitimate intelligence knows damn well that the only way you can get any improvement in your sexual life using passion fruit is to take it as a suppository. I suggest you try this method immediately and then and only then will you realize that I am 100% right in the fact that you should not be mating. Just be sure to wash the fruit off first, most certainly afterwards and please look into sterilization – it’s what’s best for your sex life, trust me.

You’re Welcome!
Joseph Conklin

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