Monday, June 24, 2013

WEDDING BELL BLUES by Joseph Conklin

Dear Stupid Ass Questions, I'm getting married next year and I'm looking for a place to have my wedding. Do you think Facebook would be a good venue?

Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge

Dear Stupid Ass Questioner, First off congratulations on your engagement – if this were on Facebook I would certainly click Like!  Now speaking of Facebook, I do not think you should go ahead with your plan to hold your wedding on the social media site because let’s be honest, Facebook is so passé at this point it might as well be an AOL chat room (which is more suited to men posing as sexy women for cybersex and/or people who steal children and sell them to Malaysian factories where they will end up working 20 hour shifts making Nikes or your wedding dress). Also, having a Facebook wedding is just asking for all sorts of unwanted guests showing up and ruining your special day like Grumpy Cat or even worse, 2nd Amendment Memes (unless of course this is a shotgun wedding, then very very appropriate!) My advice to you is to look into unique and unexpected website venues to host your wedding…such as! Then when you read your vows and the Priest asks “Do you take this Man…till death do you part?” You can get a WAY better answer than simply “I Do” at your Stupid Ass Wedding!

You’re Welcome!
Joseph Conklin

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