Friday, March 29, 2013
HOW TO BE A FAMOUS AUTHOR by Jon Huck
Dear Stupid Ass Questions, I wrote to a famous publisher about a book I was thinking of writing. I told her I'd send my manuscript. Would she know if I sent her a book I bought from the bookstore. I can rip off the front and back covers and sign my name.
JON: I like your thinking on this but I would not send her a book you bought from a bookstore, publishers have read most of those. The best thing to do is to buy a book at the grocery store or even a garage sale. The older looking the pages are, the more likely she is to believe that you have been really working on it for a while. And you can rip the cover off but replace it with a crude crayon drawing of your family – they love that kind of stuff. Good luck. Remember all of us when you are a famous author.
Dear StupidAssQuestions.com: There is a piano I really want but I just can’t afford it. Should I charge it and then claim bankruptcy? Maybe I should charge some other stuff too while I’m at it… like a car… and a computer… and a milkshake machine. It’s only $399.99 on Amazon.