Friday, March 1, 2013

LIQUID PLUMMER? by Mary Tischbein

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I am parked outside my girlfriend's house right now. She said she was going to bed early but, I just saw a man go in there. Do you think he’s the plummer or something like that?

Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge

MARY: Let's look at the evidence. Your girlfriend said she was going to bed early. She did not say she was going to sleep. You are kind of stalker-y, and don't trust her, so there's a really good chance, you are creepy and needy as well. Of course, that doesn't mean you deserve to be mislead, or lied to. That's why it's important that you not confront her directly, but continue on your current path of passive aggressive behavior. It's a win-win. You will learn things on your own, without relying on an actual direct conversation, and she won't have to be bothered with telling you what is really going on. I am sure he is a plummer. Is that like a plumber? Of someone who does something awesome with plums? If things don't work out with your girlfriend, definitely stay on this guy's tail. There's a story there, dying to be told.

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