Monday, March 25, 2013

TEETHING by Jon Huck

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: Is there a way to make babies get all their teeth at once because teething is a pain in the ass. Couldn’t I just buy the baby a full set of dentures? I saw them on an infomercial for 29.95 plus shipping and handling.

Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge

JON: Stop watching infomercials and either get a job or go to sleep. Baby dentures are always an option but if you’d like to fix the problem before it starts I recommend eating teeth while you’re pregnant. You can eat human teeth or animal teeth (no fish teeth). This way the baby will be nourished by teeth therefore growing teeth while still in the womb. So if you follow these instructions with your next child he or she will probably be born with a full set of teeth… or they’ll have like teeth coming out of their ears & eyes. Either way – TEETH! Am I right? 

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