KENNY COLGIN
Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Santa, I just electrocuted myself with the stupid christmas lights on my house... the ones that are synchronized with music. Now every time Jingle Bells plays my heart and legs start to twitch to the beat. Do you think that I can finally be the best dancer at the christmas party this year ?
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
Kanta: Oh my!!!!! Santa certainly doesn't like to hear things like this so close to the Holiday. You seem to be taking it well though. Might I suggest a few more options to you. People who dance at their Christmas parties more often than not make fools of them selves and wind up looking for other employment. Try renting yourself out to a used car lot or maybe Walmarts. That'd be a jolt to business for them 'eh? Or maybe you could audition for, The Trans Siberian Orchestra and tour with them for the Holiday season! THAT would really be a jolt. If none of these ideas are appealing to you then well... hit the closest bar and just drink something nice until the effects of your shocking accident subside. "Now you're doing the Electric Slliiidddeee!" Merry Christmas. Turn off the lights now would ya' ? I need my rest.
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