Thursday, December 19, 2013

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS ... by Kanta Colgin


Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Santa, I am missing my two front teeth and today at our second grade Christmas party all my classmates laughed at me and called me names. They wouldn't let me play in any games either. They hurt my feelings and now I'm sad. To make myself feel better I think I should give all my classmates a gift. Actually, two gifts a piece, can you please bring me a ball peen hammer and oh, say 40 front teeth?

Size DOES matter o click picture to enlarge

Kanta: Oh for pity's sakes! Herbie!!!!!!!! What part of the song didn't you get? I know if you've been bad or good so, c'mon. I know your goal is to be "a DENTIST". The entire world hears it every year when they watch "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer".  I miss Burl Ives, I wish he was here. He'd catch wind of your stunt with the hammer and well, he'd have slapped your teeth out. So lighten up would ya' ? You've got enough business dealing with those candy crazy, Baileys swilling, over zealous elves of mine. Can you believe some of them are over 100 years old!? I can't believe you would look in their mouths, Ick. I guess the moral of the story is this, there is no more co-pay for their office visits/exams/false extractions/etc. Take some of that coal I'm putting in your stocking this year and put that in the little, crazy people's mouths.

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