Monday, April 30, 2012

DIETS, DIETS, DIETS by Kenny Colgin

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I read that to lose weight you should eat 6 small meals a day. I would like to lose faster so should I double my efforts and eat 12?

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Kenny: Excellent question and with so many kooks running around passing out diet advice it's encouraging to see you've done a little research and have come to us. Believe me, I've done ALL of the diets out there. The Atkins, Weight Watchers, I even bought Kevorkian's book on the subject but never got past the intro thankfully. Now listen, it's not the number of meals or frequency that matters when it comes to quick, transformative weight loss. No, it is the amount of exercise. Before you go, "ughhh, not this again", hear me out. If you exercise all the time you can eat all the time. For instance, at a baseball game, commit yourself to doing the wave for all nine innings. Hotdogs, nachos and cheese, your favorite beverage aren't out of bounds. Riding your bike, well, try a double dip ice cream cone as you pedal. Raquetball, I hear tell Campbell's has come up with a new pizza in a cup designed specifically for this activity. See what I mean? Exercise and food. All at once! What could be better I ask you? Feel free to throw your two cents in on the subject. How else can you expect change?

1 comment:

Stephanie Inglesfield said...

My favorite sport is sex, and my favorite dish is lasagna. I tried your diet tip, but it is very messy. I hate to have to interrupt one to get on with the other. Kenny, can you help?