Wednesday, April 11, 2012

VALEDICTORIAN by Eric Andre


Dear Stupid Ass Question: All through school I worked as hard as possible on my grades. It’s my senior year and there is only a few weeks left. I started slacking off and got a 3 out of 100 on a test which now ruins my average so I can’t graduate Valedictorian. Should I hack into the school’s computer system an change my grade higher?

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Eric: Totally! What is this the 90’s? You can still hack into your computer’s school system? I thought you couldn’t do that shit anymore. Listen, do whatever you want to do, existence is meaningless. Nothing matters when you’re dead. And we’re all gonna die one day. So I say live life dangerously. But watch out for the lunch lady. I hear she uses her armpits to press burgers.

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