Friday, December 2, 2011
Dear Stupid Ass Questions: While helping my husband on a construction job I fell and hurt my shoulder. He didn't even ask me if I was ok he just said, "Good thing that didn't happen to someone else or they'd sue me!" Should I teach him a lesson and sue?
MARV ELLIS: Many lessons to be learned here by this gross miscarriage of injustice! First off, your husband actually put you to work on a construction site!? MAN CARD REVOKED!!!! Women don't belong on a construction site for any other reason that to be heckled by men with cat calls and whistles! It's an OSHA standard!!! I have found that "Hey chicky mama!" is the most effective cat call at gaining the arousal of women on construction sites. Follow up with a well intentioned, heart felt "Damn you fine bitch!" and a couple of low pitched, tapering whistles and you will win her over a bar stool every time! That's a lesson for you men out there! :D
Now as far as asking if you were OK, what do you think he is!? A bleeding heart, pansy ass, puppy dog loving, poetry writing, son of Art Garfunkle or something!? NO!!!! HE'S A CONSTRUCTION WORKER!!!! As long as you were breathing you're fine! Shake it off!
As for teaching him a lesson and suing him-- on that point I have to say-- GO FOR IT!!!! He broke OSHA standards by letting you be anything other than eye candy and he has it coming! I'd sue him back into the stone age, take over his construction business, then put the men in his company to work building latrines and portable showers for the Occupy Wall Street people. They're starting to stink :(