Monday, October 29, 2012

EAT YOUR VEGGIES by Steph Inglesfield

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I have a stomach ache and I just can't understand why. Do you think that eating 2 lbs. of candy corn cold have anything to do with it? I thought that since it was made from a vegetable it would be ok, right?

Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge

With all these ghoulies, eyeballs, gut jellies, zombie feasts... You think your stomach ache is due to Candy Corn! You fool! I say, eat Candy Corn till you puke, it's only Halloween once a year, right?
Now, I had to look up Candy Corn on Wikipedia since you insular passportless Americans just assumed that me, a sophisticated, Chanel perfumed French lady would know such a tasteless, palate insulting little treat. The wee suppository shaped sweet in question is made mostly of wax. Considering its body friendly shape, I can only imagine it is earwax we are dealing with here. You transatlantic folks are gross.

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