Monday, May 5, 2014
SPRING HAS SPRUNG by Kenny Colgin
Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Kenny, Now that Spring has sprung I need to rake my yard from all the leaves and crap. I just don't feel like it. Do you think it's ok to borrow my neighbor's leaf blower while he's at work and blow the leaves and crap into his yard?
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
Kenny: Spring is indeed here and a young man's fancy always turns to love. I don't know anybody who loves to clean up leaves and crap so I understand your question fully. Let's settle something real quick though, there are yard loving, leaf raking, dog poop never stops steaming before it's picked up, psychos among us. They're going to read your question and immediately call you lazy. I say, (as your acting legal council with the Homeowner's Association in this matter) you're not lazy...you're just not being creative. When your neighbor is at work do indeed borrow that leaf blower and push it all into his yard in a neat line. The next day blow it right back into your yard the same way. Go back and forth for about a week and see what happens. If he doesn't give you any "blow back"(that's a legal term by the way) on it well then it's all good. If he does get all kooked out about it then egg your own house and toilet paper your own trees! Yeah, borrow the TP and eggs from him while he's at work man!Then, call the cops and say he's harassing you. Everybody knows those anal yard nuts secretly mark all their eggs for Easter and they'll be the first to tell you when visiting your toilet paper is "not nearly as nice" as theirs. He'll be stone cold busted!
P.S: good fences make great neighbors. Next year just flip it over the fence.