Wednesday, February 15, 2012
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MARV: I’m thinking YES!! You should stop!! See, there’s two types of people, those that see the glass half empty, and those that see the glass half full. With all those Dis’s and De’s, I peg you as a glass half empty kinda guy. You should, in turn, switch to the more positive, glass half full pre-whatcha-ma-jigger “RE”. Like when I got divorced, I didn’t become a “DE-vorcee”, I became a “RE-Bachelor”! I had a Re-Bachelor party, got a Re-Bachelor pad, and RE-discovered the casual encounters section of Craigslist.org. Are you feeling the happiness? I RE-turned the wardrobe my ex-wife bought me out of the “Make My Husband Look as Gay and Unattractive to Other Women as Possible” catalogue and RE-claimed my manhood. As I no longer had a control freak monitoring my diet, I got to Re-eat things I enjoy, like Pop Tarts, and um, became Re-Tarted. I became RE-aquainted with sports, smokes, and alcohol, making me a RE-drunken douche bag. K, that was a stretch.
All and all my friend— I hope my words of wisdom have lifted you out of your dreary life and into a new realm of possibilities of positivity! Or is it “Re-positivity”?? Am I right? Am I right?