Monday, July 15, 2013
PROPER PARENTING by Thomas Bellezza
Dear Stupid Ass Questions & Thomas, My 15 month old child eats with a fork all by herself. My child care book says they aren't suppose to start till they are three. Should I slap it out of her hand?
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
THOMAS: As I am as useful as hen poop on a pump handle, compared to a professional doctor, take my advice lightly; Smack your child on the back of the head about one inch before the fork is in the mouth. Not only will this teach the child never to use a fork again, but also help you realize you might not be right for parenting. What the FORK is wrong with you? Your child is going to have brain damage just because she is related to you, so there should be no serious damage done. My major advice is; please take on additional help by bringing in a professional parent. You can find suitable parents at (http://www.adoptuskids.org/). Personally, I allow my children to use sporks. This is so when they pierce their face with the pointy part blood can drain directly into the cup area of the spoon. It makes clean up so much easier. Thinking outside the box here; have you ever thought about taking parenting lessons from Michael Jackson? I know he is dead, but it seems even he is doing a better job at this point... oh wait... FORK, okay, never mind that. Go thy way to a nunnery.