Tuesday, May 7, 2013
STUDIES, STUDIES, STUDIES by Marv Ellis
Dear Stupid Ass Questions, Studies have been done on the effect of what imagining can do to ones body so, everyday I lay on my couch eating a box of chocolates. During commercials I imagine myself working really hard at the gym. So far I've gained about 50 lbs. I must be doing something wrong. However, I am not one to give up so I'll keep trying. I mean after all aren't these studies always right?
Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge
MARV: Studies indicate that not all studies are correct! But then again, that study may be incorrect as well. Which would make it correct-- I guess-- but I could be wrong. Anyhow, I believe we may have stumbled upon something that may need to be studied. That is the combination of "Imagining" and "Weight Gain". You see-- I used to imagine that my ex-wife was the most beautiful woman in the world. Then she started gaining weight. So to perform my husbandly duties, I had to imagine harder. She gained more weight. So then I had to imagine she was someone else-- holy hell more weight! Then I had to imagine "I" was someone else-- MY DEAR GOD MORE WEIGHT! With all my imagination, my ex-barracuda packed on 150lbs!!
So it appears that imagination has DIRE CONSEQUENCES on the body and should be eliminated from your daily diet-- and not the box of chocolates. Imagine that!