Thursday, November 8, 2012

STALKED by Steph Inglesfield

Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I keep calling a friend of mine but all I get is her answering machine. I leave messages but I get no return call. I know she’s home because I’ve seen her through the window watching tv. Should I keep calling till she answers..... maybe she stepped into the shower.

Size DOES matter so click picture to enlarge

STEPHANIE: Boring! Lamely easy question! I despair of people like you. You are a waste of space, of my talent, and of the readers'time. So, anyway, since I have to, here it comes: you sad, unimaginative, thick cow, you want that woman's attention? Then 1st, get her husband's: call him repetitively and preferably at night, text him, bake for him, Facebook tag him... She'll answer your next call, on the 1st ring-guaranteed.

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