Thursday, January 22, 2015

REST STOP by Caryn Ruby

Dear Stupid Ass Questions, Every time I exert myself in any way I wet myself so, I started wearing toddler pull-ups. I love them cuz if I don’t want to take the time to go to the bathroom I can just go in my toddlers. I do however experience a little problem. When I walk you can hear a whooshing sound which makes people stare. Any ideas?

Caryn: Great question. First of all, kudos to you for taking charge of your own life! Why should you be burdened by spending time to find a restroom when there's usually a huge line, no toilet paper, or worse, it won’t flush! Just do what our ancestors did, naturally, anywhere they pleased. They enjoyed the freedom now reserved only for horses and dogs. What a shame.

Anyway, here are a few ideas right off the top of my head:
1) wear noisy shoes, like wooden flip flops or tap shoes to cover the sound;
2) pretend your talking on your phone to someone who is losing their hearing. I SAID PRETEND YOU ARE TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS LOOOSINNNG THEIR HEARRINNNG!!!! and they’ll cover THEIR ears; or

3) get a water bra and tell everyone about it, you’ll distract them both visually and aurally.

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