Tuesday, January 13, 2015
ADOPTED OR SCIENTIFIC ANOMOLY? by Kevin Bartini
Dear Stupid Ass Questions, I think I'm adopted but my parents adamantly deny it. Is it possible for two whities to have a black child?
You will be relieved to know that yes it is possible for two white people to give birth to a black child. While it is rare, it does happen. And it makes sense that it happens. Two blonde people can have a child with brown hair. To tall people can have a short baby. Two living people can give birth to a baby who isn’t even alive at all.
There is no rhyme or reason to genetics. If parents could control variables about their baby like color or gender the rivers in China would be a lot more fun to swim in. Every person is unique. No two people are alike. We are all like snowflakes. Sometimes two snowflakes can produce a darker snowflake. It is perfectly natural. I can tell you an annicdote from my own life.
My neighbors are a lovely couple let’s call them Mike and Patty. Mike and Patty are as white as an unblemished credit report. Mike and Patty met when they both became teachers at a local community college. Mike teaches drama, choreography, and costume design. Mike is a great guy. When he is not teaching he is active in the church and often stages his own interpretive dance productions at a local coffee shop. I like Mike. Patty is completely different then Mike. Boy is she. Where Mike is artistic Patty is athletic. Patty teaches African studies during the school day and is the boys basketball coach. Having Patty coach the boys basketball program has been great. Although there have been more then one occasion when the coach was mistaken for a cheerleader.
Patty is a very dedicated coach. She works her boys hard but she cares for them with every bit as much passion as she coaches them. Patty is ready and willing to roll up her sleeves and get messy when she needs to. The school doesn’t have a big budget for their athletes. So patty voluntarily gives many of her athletes private physical therapy and personal massages whenever she can. Mike, by the way is always willing to help rub down any athletes that Patty can’t get to. Mike and Patty seem to have very separate lives. As they say opposites do attract. Their marriage seems to be a happy one and just last year they welcomed their first child. When Mike Jr. was born people were all so surprised to see that he was blacker then the bottom of a coal mine at midnight. I wasn’t of course. I understand what a roll of the dice genetics can be.
Mike and Patty love that baby and are going to be great parents. So I can tell you from personal experience that I have seen two very lovely, very white people have a son born who is much darker then either of them.
So no you are not adopted. You are not a freak. You are a scientific anomaly. Just like a red head.