Dear Stupid Ass Questions: I have been so sick that I haven't eaten for 2 days. I’ve noticed that I lost 4 pounds. Should I make myself sick again so I lose more weight or should I become anorexic?
Yes, being sick is God's gift to weight loss. Nothing like the runs to make me feel beautiful! Or, as you puke your guts out and feel the weight come off, it's just like cheating, like it is too easy: you feel so light, your tummy so flat, your cheeks flushed and rosy like peaches, aaaaw the bliss! You just want to giggle! What a strike of luck! And all it takes, is one dodgy little shrimp, one piece of undercooked chicken, and, voila! And when you think of those healthy eating freaks, those sad idiots on dreary diets, those gastric band mavericks and even worse, these gym martyrs, ha! ha, I repeat! What a bunch of morons! Just remember, a rotten apple a day keeps the dietician away. Girls, girls, girls, diamonds are for ever, and the perfect figure only an old sushi away!
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